Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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