I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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