WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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