I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
