Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
