If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
