lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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