I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize