So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize