My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize