biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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