My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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