I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
