i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
