no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
