you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
