dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
