Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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