just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
