i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
