but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
