Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
