I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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