K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My pussy is not your playground.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
