well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
