my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
