yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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