I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
