I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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