and i looked up. we had an audience...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
