Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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