Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication

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(207): View more from Maine

I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.

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(361): View more from Texas

She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.

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(969): View more from

I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.

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(916): View more from California

I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??

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(541): View more from Oregon

After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.

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