I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
