she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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