He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
