I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
