I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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