watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
