Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
