Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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