I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
