you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
