can u get pink eye on your cock?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
