David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
