You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
is wine microwaveable?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
