There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
What a dumb baby whore.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
