My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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