you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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