Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
