I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
