she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
