I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
