She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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