You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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