A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
