Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize