I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
