the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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