Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
