my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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