So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
